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    5 MIN READ



    What the fuck is sex magic? To put it simply: You become the fully embodied sexual energy. Your orgasm is the magic, propelling all that you are manifesting, into the universe at a super-high frequency.

    Sex magic is opening a sacred portal outside of the mundane, and into your own brand of divine.

    It is using your sexuality as a tool to see beyond the veil.

    To be primal, bold and intentional with your desires. To ask them to flow through the self, to hold the desire fully, and then explode it out, in a chaotic, sexy offering to the universe.

    Sex magic can be used to call in newness and ancestral guidance. The type of ‘knowing’ you may already know, just not in a way you have words for, yet. It can be used as a method to say goodbye, to people, threads and things, that are no longer serving, with clear cut energetic assertion.

    As with any magical pursuit, there are some rules, tricks and plenty of practice involved. Here are some beginner’s tips:


    LESSON #1:

    Don’t burn the house down.

    In my early sex magic days, I laid sprawled out naked on my faux fur rug, clutching my crystal pleasure wand in one hand, a red lighter in the other.

    Ready to burn the names of lovers that had wronged me in a bowl of rose petals, to make way for new love. And finish with a bang – really show you the universe I was ready for ULTIMATE SELF-LOVE, unbridled joy and mutual respect.

    Next minute, my magic got REALLY hot and I set a flame to my faux fur rug. And nearly singed myself like a fried chicken. A lesson in vulnerability and precision, and not rushing the process, for sure.

    Fire is a potent magikal tool – but it can be easy to get carried away in the moment of passion with it, so use it very wisely.


    LESSON #2:

    You are sex. So is your great, great, great, Aunt.

    Always remember this: you and all of your ancestors were born of sex. Of messy, body melting collision between human beings. Juices guaranteed.

    Sex is a bridge to new futures of connection. But it is also a bridge to accessing your lineage and the gifts that are stored there. You are allowed to utilise this wisdom.

    Ask for guidance from your lineage to come through that is aligned for you, from only those with the purest intentions and those who are well and healed.

    Instead of calling in your dream ‘love’ as you stare into a poster of Leonardo Dicaprio, you might find their guidance pulling you into deeper callings, like to manifest bigger self-love, an abundance of social support or more emotional resilience. Or even healing and releasing old family baggage. Stuff that makes you more capable of love and more independent with or without it.

    After that, observe which lovers are knocking at your door with a single red rose. Yum. You’re welcome.


    LESSON #3:

    Solo Set

    When we orgasm we are elevated and open – so, sex magi utilises this state as a heightened way of meditating on, creating and connecting with, the mystical and the infinite possibilities of what we desire, and what we are on this earth to do.

    As long as you’re not attempting to wish harm or illness on anyone, it’s pretty hard to fuck up solo sex magic if you’re not using tools.

    It’s essentially conscious masturbation with some magical help thrown in if you’re game.


    LESSON #4:

    Adding Tools and Symbols

    Solo sex magi might have you laid on a towel covered in honey, coming and catching a single tear and then offering it to your house plant. It’s like baking a cake. You need to develop recipes that feel right for you and are relevant to the specific thing you are trying to bring in or let go of.

    For me, in the above example, my recipe was:

    Honey = sweetness, community and connection

    Orgasm = high frequency intention

    Tear = release sadness and expression

    Water plant = newness, life nourishment and freshness

    I also love working with number 4 and 7.

    Sex Magic is and must be unique to you. So, for example, if you are allergic to bees and hate indoor plants. Then this wouldn’t be a good angle for you and will probably backfire. You have to consent and feel connected to your own magical creations, materials and desired outcomes.

    You’re only doing it wrong if you’re faking it.

    A good place to start symbol making that is attuned to you is using dream symbology or noticing recurring ‘lucky’ or synchronous charms. This might be numbers, words, poetry, a tarot card, a type of flower, a colour, a memory, a smell.

    Start making note of these things and collect them. Store them on your altar as you build them into your practice – slowly when the time feels right.

    Pleasure wands are also dope and accessible for all genders. Check out Yoni Pleasure Palace for ethically made natural pleasure wands – they make an amazing first tool for the collection. *wet emoji*


    LESSON #5:

    Using the elements

    Integrating the four elements can give a nice stable framework, so things don’t go awry when you’re first starting out. Generally speaking;

    Earth element: brings in grounding and stabilising energy. Think dirt, wood, rocks.

    Water element: cleanses, releases, softens, nourishes. Think seawater, tears, full moon water.

    Fire element: creates, destroys, brings truth, creates swift change. Think lighter flame, campfires, candles.

    Air element: brings wisdom, moves energy, whispering secrets of the universe. Think incense, an open window, the sea breeze.

    Also, note the moon cycles. The new moon is a time to manifest. The full moon is a time of deep release. If you are a person who menstruates, you can also use your bleed similar to a full moon and ovulation similar to a new moon.

    If I am not feeling creative, I simply create a square around my bed with one of each element and go from there.


    LESSON #6:

    Magic 2.0

    When you are bringing sex magi into an intimate encounter with someone else, consent is incredibly important. Consent obviously for the sexual parts, but also for the magical part, is just as important.

    It is not good practice and is unlikely to work in the way you hope if you’re using someone like a magical vibrator to manifest your dream job, while they think this is just a one-time thing. Next thing you know, you get fired and they get their dream job, as some karmic magic.

    All parties involved need to be on board, informed and saying a big enthusiastic “fuck yes” to making some magical shit happen together. Hint: Maybe start with mutual masturbation. Sex magic can be, intense and strange at times, to say the least.


    LESSON #7:

    To Come or Not to Come

    “Can I still do sex magic if I don’t find it easy to orgasm?”

    Hell-Yeah! Get your whole body involved. You are literally made of sex.

    Caress your nipple with a sunflower as you lay on the earth dreaming of your most soulful connection. Any way you can summon extreme joy and high vibrational energy is going to omit goodness from you, through you and back out to the world.

    Sex magic is not like making 2-minute noodles or a quickie. Set your intention clearly and from the beginning, trust the process, clear and set up your space, follow your gut, listen out for guidance.

    Sex magic is creativity and connection with the earth in motion.

    Now go, Conjure! Bring forth your goodness, your desires, not just of earthly delights, but all of which you desire to become.

    So be it.