For pleasure, foreplay ft. Posmo
IN THE SHADOWS OF THE CONSERVATIVE AUSTRALIAN MARKET, POSMO IS EMERGING AS THE PROTAGONIST OF SKIN-GRAZING, DIGITALLY TEXTURED PLEASURE ADVOCACY.
Co-founded by sexologist Laura Miano, POSMO began as Laura’s personal evolution into postmodern sexuality studies– schools of thought which look to queer our concept of sexual orientation systems and address inherent violences along the way. Led by an openness to redefine gender norms, POSMO curates what can only be described as the couture of affordable sex toys & tools designed to reapproach sexual expression as genderless and infinite.
From floral ornate crystal dildos, to confetti butt plugs, POSMO’s curiosity into a brave new world highlights and incentivises the work we do as individuals and partners to create room for sexual expansion– where the outcomes include all-day solo masturbation, squirting, orgasm and greater capacity for intimacy. After testing their new collection in New York late last year for our video diary, VOID HQ’s Sophie Marsh spoke to Laura Miano ahead of the upcoming VOID x POSMO “For-pleasure foreplay” zine collaboration.
What was the most intimidating thing about opening a concept sex-store. Did you have any doubts or fears going into the process?
WE LIVE IN A PARADIGM WHERE SEXUALITY IS THE FOCUS OF A LOT OF ACTIVISM, PARTICULARLY DIGITALLY- FROM THE PUSH TO REFORM CONSENT LAWS WORLDWIDE TO ADDRESSING THE STIGMATISATION OF BDSM. WHERE DOES POSMO LIKE TO SIT IN THESE CONVERSATIONS?
LAURA: Yes there is a lot going on in this space! The normalization of sex toys is very much a byproduct of the larger sexual acceptance movement. At Posmo, we hope to be part of these kinds of conversations by educating people about sex, sex toys, kinks, and sexual politics. We hope through our educational platforms, we can take an active role in the movement.
IN RECENT YEARS, OUR CULTURE HAS SHIFTED TO A HYPERSEXUAL APPROACH TO SEX. I OFTEN SEE PEOPLE COMING TO ME FEELING LIKE THEY AREN'T SEXUAL ENOUGH BECAUSE THEY EXPECT TO GO FROM 0 TO 100 VERY QUICKLY, WHICH RARELY HAPPENS.
AS A PRACTICING SEXOLOGIST, WHAT DO YOU FEEL ARE THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES FACING YOUR CLIENT BASE IN RECENT YEARS? WHERE DO YOU SEE THE FUTURE OF SEX CULTURE HEADING?
LAURA: In recent years, or perhaps the last couple decades, our culture has really shifted to a hypersexual approach to sex. This means I often see people come to me feeling like they aren’t sexual enough because they expect to go from 0 to 100 very quickly, which rarely happens. Another way this impacts people is in the sense that they try to fit into this hypersexual style of sex and a lot of the time it doesn’t work for them in the sense that it doesn’t make them feel aroused, and then they deem themselves as defective.
People are (understandably) confusing the aesthetics of sex in our culture as a guideline of how they should act and feel during sex. A lot of this comes down to a lack of education about sex really. People aren’t taught the real facts so they rely on pop culture to teach them!
Personally, I love hypersexual aesthetics. A lot of the time it’s art. But I wish there were more education out there to help people differentiate the art from the education.
OUT OF THE CURRENT RANGE OF PRODUCTS, WHAT ARE YOU LOVING THE MOST? HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR SELECTIONS FOR WHAT ENDS UP IN THE STOREFRONT?
LAURA: Favourite products on the store at the moment would be the Lelo Soraya – a g-spot and clitoral stimulator that automatically rubs on the g-spot, KinkLab Electrosex Kit – a kit comprising of different attachments that sends small electric shocks when applied close to skin, and finally, the Double Fun Double Ended dildo – a weight dildo that is fantastic for g-spot stimulation due to it weight and firmness.
When making a selection for Posmo toys, I choose based on 4 criteria – function (i.e. pleasure), aesthetic, safety and, as much as possible, genderless. Admittedly, some toys we stock have gendered branding however we run an analysis of whether the product is particularly unique across the other criterion, and if we find it is worth stocking, we inform our customers that gendered branding is used on the packaging to give them the choice of whether they are comfortable purchasing the toy.
ON THE LIVE, YOU DISCUSSED THE IDEA OF ACCELERATORS AND BRAKES. CAN YOU RECAP HOW TO ACTIVATE YOUR AWARENESS OF THESE?
LAURA: At a basic level, accelerators and brakes are essentially what helps you to feel turned on and what makes you feel turned off. How we discover our A’s and B’s is through exploration – through fantasy, partnered sex, masturbation, watching porn, reading erotica, or even having social interactions that feel arousing but where sex may not actually result. All of this gives us information on what turns us on. On a broader level, however, accelerators and brakes can also be general factors that affect our well being – like if you have a bad sleep the night before, it might add a brake to your sexual functioning.
Another tip to discover your A’s and B’s is to practice more bodily awareness during sex. Your feelings in your body will tell you what you do and don’t like during sex. If your partner does something you like, you might feel aroused or have feelings elsewhere in your body that tell you you are enjoying this experience. Similarly, if you dislike something, your arousal might drop or your body will tell you that you don’t like this particular thing. Just like if you are getting a massage – some parts you like, some parts you dislike.
Therefore, if you shut off from your feelings, you could struggle to identify your A’s and B’s.
To become more in-tune with your body, practices like body scans and sensate focus can help you to tune back into your body.
However, regaining bodily awareness during sex can be a challenging journey, particularly when past trauma is involved. For this, I would recommend seeking the guidance of a sex therapist as there might be a number of barriers that make it hard for one to tune into their body during sex.
REGAINING BODILY AWARENESS DURING SEX CAN BE A CHALLENGING JOURNEY, PARTICULARLY WHERE PAST TRAUMA IS INVOLVED.
HOW DOES POSMO WANT PEOPLE TO SEE/FEEL/EXPERIENCE SEX?
LAURA: Authentically! We want people to embrace their uniqueness, to feel safe to express their innermost erotic selves and to understand there is no normal. And importantly, to understand that sex is a process of mutual pleasure which involves pursuing your own desires within the consensual context of another pursuing their desires.
WHERE DOES POSMO HOPE TO TAKE PEOPLE?
Postmodernism is Posmo’s core philosophy – that is, to appreciate that all people have a very unique and nuanced experience of sex and sexuality. And while sexual orientations seek to offer a quick summarisation of one’s sexual experience, they simply don’t even scratch the surface!
Postmodernism is all about rejecting labels that seek to summarize and group information. While labels (i.e. sexual orientations) are partially created to make it easier for humankind to understand a person’s sexuality, they simply don’t do it justice. And even more importantly, these labels create oppression, disadvantage, and discrimination for those who reject heterosexuality.
So at Posmo, regardless of a person’s sexual orientation, we never make any assumptions about what a person might like. We don’t stereotype based on one’s orientation. We celebrate their sexual identity and then ask, but what do you like about sex? As a nuanced and unique sexual being: what do you desire during sex?
