Valentine’s Day is bullshit

I’ve always been of the opinion that any holiday that requires a one night only call to action is bullshit because it perpetuates the idea that things should only be that way on that one night.

The biggest culprit of all is the cliché, Hallmark-invented holiday known as Valentine’s Day, which tells us that on this one particular day, February 14, we should tap into our inner poet, gift-giver and love-maker to celebrate the spirit of the season.

The average person lives for 83 years and there are 365 days in a year. So are you telling me that we have a window of 83 days in our lifetime to show love and affection for our other half?

And what happens on February 15 and all the days after that? You’re all spent from your excessive display of romanticism so you end up in a love hangover? The romance goes back to being dormant for the next year until Valentine’s Day rolls around again, and we’re allowed to be romantic again?

This notion is ridiculous to me. Life is too short to limit any kind of pleasure to just one day each year.

I’m not just talking about Valentine’s Day here either, I also think New Year’s Eve has some toxic tropes attached to it. People say that the way you ring in the new year dictates how that year is going to play out. Uh, so does that mean that if I get slammed on tequila shots with my mates, I have no chance of girl-bossing in the year ahead? I don’t think so. Gorgeous gorgeous girls can do both.

And what about the concept of new years resolutions? Why do you have to wait until January 1st to make constructive changes in your life and improve your behaviour?

The same goes for Valentine’s Day. You should be showering the people you love with flowers all the time. You should be treating them with fancy chocolates any time you can afford them. You should be telling them that your life would be an empty, meaningless, dark hole of nothingness without them on the reg. Not just for one day a year.

In addition to Valentine’s Day and V-Day, another term that’s often used to describe the event is Singles Awareness Day. Considering I was single for 26 years of my life, I know how shitty this day can be when you’re not in a relationship. Even if you’re totally secure in yourself and happy being single, when February 14 rolls around, you can’t help but long for a relationship like the ones that are being peppered all over social media on this day. Even though you know it’s a farce, even though you know that not all these relationships are happy and some of them are just turning it on for social media, you can’t bloody help but feel that twinge of jealousy when you see people boasting about how lucky they are. On February 13, you were totally content and happy, and suddenly on February 14, you’ve never felt more alone.

I also feel like it gives a free pass to lazy lovers because it says that all they need to do is pull out all the stops for this 24 hours and they’re a decent partner. And by pull out all the stops, I mean send a bunch of flowers from an online store or buy a box of chocolates from Woolies on your lunch break. Then, they can return to being mediocre in their relationship because they’ve ticked the romance box on Valentine’s Day. The fact of the matter is, if you have no bloody idea what kind of gift your partner wants or if you’ve had to dig deep to muster up phoney words for an impersonal V-Day card that you overpaid for, then the chances are the feelings aren’t really there anymore. Showing your partner love and affection should come with ease, you shouldn’t need a commercialised holiday to prompt you to be romantic. And even then, it shouldn’t be difficult to put your love for this person into words. I’ve even noticed some couples where the spark has faded and they hide this by purchasing extravagant gifts for each other once a year, which is the saddest part of all.

Because here’s the real kicker: relationships shouldn’t come with a price tag. It shouldn’t be a competition of which partner spent more on gifts. You shouldn’t be stressing about how you’re going to afford this overpriced gift. Perhaps the grossest part of Valentine’s Day is that it enforces the notion that we need to fork out dollarydoos to show affection. Fuck that. The best ways to show your partner that they’re valued costs zero dollars, and you know what I’m talking about.

No shade though, go ahead and celebrate Valentine’s Day with gusto. Just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not for social media or because society tells you that you have to. And most importantly, make sure you’re giving this romantic energy all year round.

Not just on February 14.