Behind the only-fans glam

“You can’t let different areas of your life bleed into each other,” one young woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells me. “You’ve gotta know how to compartmentalise; dealing with so many different people’s personalities and energies while also managing your own personal life is a skill in and of itself.”

Anonymity is something that protects majority of sex workers who do not wish to be either celebritised or demonised – an interesting cross-roads the industry has reached where visibility is both a marketing tool and a potential threat. Some dancers use pseudonyms on private IG accounts that allow their customers to stay connected and know when they’re in the club. Some do not feel the culture is safe enough to tell their closest friends of their secret hustle. Here in Australia, a Brisbane-based dancer explains the naivety that has shrouded public visibility of sex-work: “The industry in my city is so oversaturated, which means there’s less money to be made. A lot of ‘younger’ girls want to enter the industry as dancers or Only Fans creators, but no-one is talking about the shit nights where you make little to nothing.”

With the internet push-back on sex workers under the guise of censoring R18+ content, many in the industry have seen content deleted, their accounts shutdown and blankets of silence thrown over their online livelihood. Many online content creators have their work pirated and shared illegally. It would be easy to say that it’s probably by the same types who send revenge porn and share images their lovers have sent them with their friends. But the truth is many don’t realise the power of sex when it is shared with them, whether they pay for it or not.

The women we spoke to in the sex industry largely consider self-empowerment as the highest marker of success in their profession. Interestingly, competition is less important than bringing one another up in vulnerable spaces. One woman told us: “I think you’d consider yourself a professional at your job when you feel confident in an ever-changing environment, you can work a room and you have regulars. I was extremely lucky to work at a club that had really lovely supporting women, they kind of took me under their wing and showed me everything I needed to learn.” Another woman explained: “You have to be generous, kind, welcoming and you need to position yourself as an ally and trusted person to the other women in this industry. Far too long have women from all walks of life been told that other women are their competition and that we must tear other women down to gain the approval of men. I say fuck that; the men will be there no matter what. To be a good sex worker is to love and encourage all of the women around you.”

There is a strong intersectionality between the vulnerabilities of sex workers, the age old plight of women and the struggle of people of colour, the LGBTQIA+ community and First Nations people. That’s because the sex industry is leading from the back with a new wave of feminism comprised of many individuals from a vast array of different communities, where privilege ceases to exist given the demand for sex is so universal. Many in the sex industry are not only facing persecution for protecting their livelihood but also for their cultural context. Social media has allowed those with enough privilege (typically middle/ upper class White hetero females) to not only create cultural shockwaves celebrating innate human sexuality, but to actively advocate for better treatment of society’s least considered. Cardi B’s ‘WAP’ is considered a feminist farce to some, but an anthem of self-proclamation of sexual power to others.

The Australian Sex Workers Association, the Scarlet Alliance, is on the forefront of restoring self-determination in a world that can’t accept its own shadow amongst a multiplicity of valid realities. Their mission to decriminalise runs deep: “Migrant sex workers, street-based sex workers, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander sex workers, sex workers living with HIV, and private (independent) sex workers must be decriminalised. Full decriminalisation of sex work means removing sex work-specific criminal penalties for all sex workers.” After all, a society that cannot accept and protect its most vulnerable is one that cannot truly move forward.

The unfolding of this industry is immense and will continue to impact power systems into the future. We often talk of the inextricable link between self, other and Earth. Something one ex-industry professional credits the industry with giving her an awareness of: “I think that I have become a more accepting person, having encountered so many types of people in this work. Giving my time to people I maybe usually wouldn’t has allowed me to open up and learn about the world more. I feel that I am able to better advocate for myself and know my worth.”

Something you won’t see in the movies is the very human aspect of sex work. One interviewee voiced her intent to dislodge our most tender hurts and damaging stories. “I tend to think of self-care in the sense of digging into your psyche (even if it’s uncomfortable), doing shadow work, journaling, sitting with yourself and your emotions. I try to be in nature as much as possible because it grounds me. I read a lot. There isn’t much to it, but I do rest a lot, and I need to take a lot of time out for myself to relax.”

And no-one is exempt from burnout. Those in the industry have to be on the front foot when they are giving so much of themselves to their craft: “I have learnt I am super hard on myself with reaching my financial / savings goals which leads me to work too much and burn out (with a side of multiple mental breakdowns). Then I get sick with a cold or infection and it results in me missing more work and triggering more stress. I am booked in with a mental health plan to see a sex worker-friendly psychologist to help me with managing my stress amongst other things.”